The Virtual Swear Jar

4 comments

Sometimes being a parent brings out the worst in us. Like when it’s 4:00am, you’re baby wont sleep, your toddler just woke up screaming, and neither parent has slept for more than two hours consecutively for the past three days. In these trying times you’re likely to lose your cool, drop a few F-bombs, and say a whole bunch of horrible shit that you don’t really mean.  Here’s where we capture those indiscretions.  I mean, let’s face it, sleep deprivation and stress can make for some pretty funny content.

Have you said something hurtful, off-colour, or simply comical  to your kids or partner lately?  Confess your transgressions here in the Comments section and we’ll absolve your sins by immortalizing them on the internet.

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

In it together November 12, 2011 at 6:46 am

Wife: “Fuck, it’s 5:30; I haven’t slept all night! I think I’m going to die.”

Me: “You can’t die babe. There’s no way your life insurance would cover the cost of a nanny to take care of the kids.”

Reply

In it together, part 2 November 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Husband to newborn: “I’m going to give you away, I’m going to knock door-to-door to see who wants you. Just until you are 6 months old and then I’ll get you back.”

Wife to husband: “What an awful thing to say.”

Husband to wife: “What do you mean, they used to do it all the time – just drop babies off in baskets on people’s doorsteps.”

Reply

I've got December on lockdown November 22, 2011 at 6:17 am

Forget controlling kids with the fear of God; for the next month it’s all about the fear of Santa. It’s kinda mean, but just threaten to call Santa anytime the kid is screaming, hitting, not listening, or generally misbehaving. I’ve been getting a lot of, “No, please don’t call him. I’ll be good.” Oh, the power of presents.

Reply

The cat December 18, 2011 at 8:33 am

Wfe: “I hate your fucking cat, he wrecks everything.”

Me: [...]

Wife: “You can keep him, but I get to have another baby.”

Reply

Leave a Comment